I was adopted as an infant. My adoption was closed. I have very limited information on my birth parents. I also chose to not pursue opening the adoption records. I grew up in a loving family and I didn’t want to go through the rejection if my birth mother didn’t want contact or to be found.
As I got older and contemplated having children, I found a very strong need to have children of my own. My husband and I discussed what we would do if we couldn’t easily have children of our own. I was open to adoption but again felt the strong need to have a child that I created.
When my oldest son was born it was an emergency c-section. Even after everything I had been through during labor, I still remember seeing his face for the first time and how he looked like me. It was an incredible feeling knowing he was a part of me. I never had anyone before that looked like me. I am amazed every day how much he is like me, not only in looks but his feelings, his actions and his reactions.
I never felt like I was missing something growing up adopted. I was loved and never felt different or treated differently because I was adopted. I think having children of my own made me appreciate more what it means to be blood related.
I wouldn’t change growing up in an adopted family as I know it was the best thing for me, as well as my birth mother. I also wouldn’t change making the decision to have children of my own.